What do you desire? Identify the feelings associated with that desire. Write those feelings down now. Those feelings are what will move you closer to your desire.
Next write down what you expect to happen regarding this desire.
Do your desires and expectations match?
If not, are you willing to shift your expectations to appreciations?
For example, if you want to have a healthy, romantic relationship, but you have a history of bad relationships or being abandoned. Your deeper, unconscious expectations may be that you expect your relationships will not work out. Are you ready to make the shift from those old, deep expectations?
Appreciation is the Key
Time to shift your negative expectations. The way to shift them is to begin to appreciate what you have, and do have, in healthy relationships. Maybe you have a good friend who always supports you. Appreciate that. Maybe you have a family member who checks in on you from time to time. Appreciate that. Maybe you have a wonderful relationship with visual art, or music, or dancing. Appreciate that. Maybe you have a loving pet, who greets you happily when you enter your home, or likes to sit with you on the couch and cuddle. Appreciate that.
The more you appreciate what you do have, the more likely you will begin to appreciate that life aspect – in our example wanting a healthy, romantic relationship by acknowledging what you already have in various relationships.
Very often what we desire is just One Degree Away from reality. For example, at sea level, water needs 100 degrees Celsius to boil. If you are sitting with the water, desiring for it to boil, and turn the heat off when it gets to 99 degrees Celsius, you do not really expect it to boil. When your expectation is that it will boil, you can appreciate the water itself, the means to heat it up (maybe for tea which you appreciate), the time/luxury to be patient, and how wonderfully boiling it will be at 100 degrees Celsius.
If you want to keep your desires bubbling to their boiling point/manifestation, sign up for free words of encouragement, appreciation, and focus: A-Z to 100 Degrees of Desires
Jan facilitates national workshops for therapists and life coaches. She presents at conferences on topics related to holistic psychology and living your dreams.