Biphasic Traits, according to Al Siebert (Resiliency Center), make us more likely to succeed, indeed survive and thrive.
To survive on this planet a creature must be able to move toward life-sustaining conditions and away from poisonous or other life-destroying conditions.
This week I choose to move toward life-sustaining conditions such as joy and gratitude for all I have in my life (wonderful family, supportive and fun friends, work I enjoy, solid finances, and more), and away from life-destroying conditions (hate and anger).
This week I chose to give my full attention to compassion. Compassion for those who experience the terror of external, as well as internal, evil. This does not mean tolerance or acceptance of evil. Nor does it mean passivity in the face of evil. It means actively engaging in activities that are life-sustaining (for myself and others).
Below is a list of life-sustaining activities?
- When you have a choice between being right or being kind – choose kindness. This is harder than it sounds. However, kindness is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it becomes. Exercise your right to be kind.
- Allow yourself the full range of human emotions. When something sad happens, be sad. And, be sad as close to the situation as possible. For example, if your pet dies, be sad about it as close to the death as possible. Sometimes life situation create the challenge of putting on a good face in the wake of sadness. That’s fine, but allow the sadness to surface. Don’t dwell in the sadness. It’s fine to be grateful for the good times you had and sad (that’s experience biphasic traits).
- Practice forgiveness, for yourself and others. This does not mean you tolerate evil or meanness. It means you understand that holding onto anger and hatred festers within you and leads to physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual unwellness. Remember the saying, “When you hold onto anger and hatred, it’s like drinking poison and expecting someone else to suffer.”
- Take time throughout your day to be intentionally mindful of yourself and your surroundings. Take a moment to notice a color, scent, sensation that you would not have noticed if you had not taken a moment to pause. This will ground you and shift your perspective to a more positive one.
- Breathe. Simply take the time to fully breathe in and out, in and out, in an out.
- Foster gratitude. Studies have shown that when you take the time to be grateful for what you have (no matter what that is), you will get more of the same. It’s the feeling state that you are attracting more of. Get to the feeling of gratitude and watch your life be filled with more.
- Change your Internal Map of Reality. It is just that ‘your’ map of reality, so you can recreate it. The steps to changing ‘your’ reality if it’s not what you want:
- Fully accept your life situations exactly and entirely as they are. If you’re not willing to fully embrace a challenging situation then you can not move past it.
- Have a clear intention or goal. Be sure it is an intention that you believe in and embrace. Check in with yourself to get a sense that this is truly what you want, and believe it possible.
- Keep you attention fully on it. Fill your world with images, voice messages, activities, vision boards that represent your intended outcome/change. Subscribe for the free Clues-letters https://possibilitydetectives.com//clues-letter-signup/. These will keep you actively engaged in life-sustaining, fun activitites.
- Appreciate what you already have. As noted above appreciation and gratitude are energetic magnets drawing in more of what makes you feel grateful.
- Get support. The kind of support that fills you with hope and gratitude. Be wary of sharing your intentions with negative people or energetic vampires. Those will suck the joy out of you if you’re not careful. Be around life-sustaining people, engage in life-sustaining activities.
- Make a list of your own life-sustaining goals and activities. Review it often. Share with those who support you. Share them here.
Jan facilitates national workshops for therapists and life coaches. She presents at conferences on topics related to holistic psychology and living your dreams.