Memories are everywhere. In desk drawers, on book shelves, in boxes, in the cells of our bodies. And, they are chameleons, changing shape and texture from day to day. Memories, our life stories, may shift. How we experience them do not. We embody memories. As wellness or as stress, as joy or sorrow. For instance, I remember exactly how I felt when each of my children was born, but in reviewing my journals I have shifted some of the details such as what the weather was like or what song I may (or may not) have been listening to.
What stories and memories have you maintained in journals. Which do you want others to witness?
My interest in my own collection of journals and whether to destroy them or save them for my children, came while reading Nicole Bernier’s novel, The Unfinished Life of Elizabeth D. Elizabeth dies in a plane crash, leaving her journals not to her husband but to her best friend. The friend is to decide what to do with them. I was struck with the pressure, and potential suffering, this left behind for both her husband and her friend.
So I decided to review my many journals spanning over 4 decades and was shocked with how little my memory matched what I had written. Do I want my children to know the stories lived then or how they unfolded over time. My journals, much like my life, are filled with fabric, vivid images (photographs, post cards, drawings), confusion and great joy.
Writing a journal is said to be a kind of confession, but I wonder if all experiences need to be confessed? Does it benefit anyone to read about my sorrows, even if the eventual outcome was joy?
Journal writing is one sided. Is it unfair to the the other main characters who are remain voiceless, no space for their perspective. Often these other main characters appear during “what anthropologists call ‘critical incidents – those moments in which a particular issue or cultural puzzle is encapsulated – and upon what they have to teach. You know critical incidents when you experience them, for they wake you up, sometimes rudely. Critical incidents are the times of challenge or victory when your notion of what is or should be is turned upside down, or when puzzle pieces fall into place. These moments are the signposts and often the milestones along the hero’s road.” (quote from Linda Chisholm’s Charting A Hero’s Journey)
This is the first in the series The Journal Project: Critical Incidents. I invite you to join me in this hero’s journey.
Jan facilitates national workshops for therapists and life coaches. She presents at conferences on topics related to holistic psychology and living your dreams.