If you are like most, you have had least one long standing bad habit that you have vowed to change unsuccessfully many times. Begin understanding and accepting bad habits because they are part of you and not understanding and accepting your whole self keeps you stuck.
Examples include: I will eat healthier, I will exercise regularly, I will drink less alcohol, I will quit smoking, I will watch less TV, I will be more honest about my relationships….the list is endless.
The cycle of continuing in a bad or problematic habit can feel endless, can create an internal environment of shame and guilt which leads to more of the bad habit.
In his book, The Wisdom on Insecurity, Alan Watts wrote: The question, “What shall we do about it?” is only asked by those who do not understand the problem. If a problem can be solved at all, to understand it and to know what to do about it are the same thing.
Do you understand your problematic habit? Do you feel that you understand it enough to let it go?
Did Watts mean that when we are unable to break a problematic habit, that we in fact don’t truly understand it? Or maybe we’re not ready to deal with what will surface if we let it go.
Accepting bad habits is facing reality. If you have one that is interfering with you being truly happy, accept it. Denying it, or resisting it will not make it go away; and, in fact may make it stronger. Why not try to fully understand it? What was its initial purpose (which was probably helpful) and what purpose does continue to serve. By accepting our bad habits we more fully accept ourselves.
Instead of trying to change a bad habit, what would it look like, and feel like, to more thoroughly understand it?
Jan facilitates national workshops for therapists and life coaches. She presents at conferences on topics related to holistic psychology and living your dreams.