There is an orange and a chocolate candy bar sitting on your kitchen table.
You’ve just finished eating lunch and you are ready for dessert.
Your goal is to eat as nutritiously as possible, and maybe lose a few pounds.
Do you choose the orange or the chocolate candy bar?
Most people would obviously would choose the orange. Right?
Then why do you so often go for the candy bar, or both? Why do you knowingly choose the food that is less nutritious and more likely to lead to unwanted weight gain? Because we make most moment to moment daily choices based on the unconscious not the conscious.
We each have an intuitive nutrition self, and a unconscious eating self. They are often at odds. The goal is to honor both, allowing intuition to guide you.
Perfect example – I once asked a group of about 120 undergraduate students if they knew how AIDS and pregnancy happen. Of course, they all raised their hands. Then I asked how many of them either engaged in unprotected sex themselves or knew of friends who did. Approximately 90% raised their hands. It is not knowledge that usually guides our choices, it is emotions or our unconscious self.
Back to the orange and chocolate candy bar options. Change the lunch scene to include your emotions and unconscious thinking self: You have just finished eating lunch. You turn your head and on the kitchen counter is an orange and a chocolate candy bar, but between them is a pile of unpaid bills, a notice that your rent is overdue, and an old photograph of you and a previous lover (who you miss terribly).
Now which do you choose? The orange? The chocolate candy bar? Both? A couple glasses of wine? Another sandwich for lunch, then the candy bar?
It is easy to get off track, to become distracted by what we consider negative in our lives. These unhelpful, unwanted (conscious or unconscious) thoughts override what we know is best for us.
What can you do about taking back the power to make healthier, happier choices? Here are six steps to consider:
- Fully accept your unwanted, negative situations and thoughts.
- Imagine your life without them interfering so often. Imagine your truest life dreams and goals, your Intentions.
- Find powerful ways to keep your Attention on those goals.
- Appreciate one aspect of the situation or thought (this can be tricky, but it can be as simple as appreciating that the situation or thought has something to tell you, something that can make your life better).
- Get support to move towards your truest goals and Intentions. This is a key step. Support can come in the form of a trusted friend, a spiritual mentor, or therapist.
- Use the 5 Clues Guide to keep your attention and motivation on achieving your life dreams and goals.
Pay attention to your less than healthy life choices, they are guides and can motivate you towards powerful life changes.
Jan facilitates national workshops for therapists and life coaches. She presents at conferences on topics related to holistic psychology and living your dreams.
